Jilly D.

Burning love. February

In Off-The-Grid Memoir on February 8, 2014 at 1:26 am

yellow rosesFalling in love is a potent remedy. I started to feel better immediately after I met Sam. My fibromyalgia went into remission. I got 8-10 hours sleep every night I visited Sam’s cabin and I spent more nights there than home. Because I felt better I looked better. Within a month after I met Sam I had dropped 20 pounds. The swelling and bloating disappeared. My diet improved as Sam taught me to eat off-the-land and share a daily meal.

Within months after meeting Sam I looked like a new woman.  I weighed what I did when I graduated from high school. From 235 lbs. in January 1996 I effortlessly dropped slowly down to 165 lbs. by spring 1997. The eczema on my feet cleared up. My skinned glowed radiantly. Muscles in my face ached from smiling all day long. I could dance again. I hiked for miles. I couldn’t wait to get naked and swim in that pond I saw frozen outside.

Sam said he liked long hair and he thought I would be even more beautiful if I let it grow.

I hadn’t had hair over my ears since I was in second grade and my mother could not get the rubber band out of my ponytail on the top of my head. Mom just cut it off. Then I think I screamed. Next, we drove straight to the beauty salon. That first Pixie cut was too close to the hairdo of Peter Pan.

Then I got a wedge haircut named after the Olympic skater, “The Dorothy Hammill.”

In the early days of graduate school during the punk period I had a quarter inch of fuzz left on my scalp. Dishpan blonde to mousy brown, my head of superfine hair was either permed, henna red, or cut too short.  I finally let it grow long and thick and auburn. Healthy hair.

Sam let his hair grow, too. Golden tendrils of curls fell down the back of his neck by summer. He was hot.

Sam down the laneThe more I dispensed with any need for fashion, the more beautiful I became.  Because Sam loved me I knew I looked radiant. Never one to wear makeup, perfume, jewelry or fashion accessories, I felt freed by Sam’s love to be more me. I was a knock-out wearing raggedy overalls with the cuffs rolled up to my calves, sleeveless t-shirt and work boots. I got some muscles on and toned those upper arms, thighs and abs.

For the first time in my life I gained the attention of the male persuasion. The unsolicited affections of men surprised me. I was hot.  A woman approached me in the grocery store one day. “Do you know you look like Meryl Streep?” I thought she was coming on to me. When one of my former students, Adam Ellick, visited me down on the farm, he was shocked. “I have been gone two years and you look 10 years younger!” Strange men stopped me in the grocery line or at the red light waiting to cross and flirted widely.

“Heh, baby, you looking good.”

“Pshaw,” I said. I loved being loved by Sam, the man I loved. This good feeling inside made me glow on the outside. Sam was the first guy I met who was not intimidated by me, in the least. Opinionated, too smart for my own good, and set in my ways after living alone for 20 years, I’d convinced myself I didn’t need men in my life. I didn’t. I just wanted this one particular man. And Sam loved me for being me.

Burning love. February. I found his tractor sexy and when I wore an apron I could drive him wild with distraction.

  1. Wonderful, as usual. Love these stories, Jill. Love knowing this part of you. Wasn’t it a gift to be with a man who saw beauty in overalls, work boots, and dirt under your nails? I knew that pleasure, too.

  2. Hot post 🙂
    At 54, this is the first time, that I can remember, that falling for a man had these effects on me.
    I am so enjoying the story of you and Sam.

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